NOTES:

1) At the 1st video, sound is ON at 2:11.

2) Below we have included ONLY the German parts of the livestream, NOT the English ones.

 

Part 1:

 

(5:20)

Q: How did you get the idea for the collaboration?

Gared: Actually YOU can answer this best.

Chris: Let’s put it that way – if you work a lot with musicians in the studio – and I have made an album with Swiss now, beforehand we made an EP, we made the Ferris album together… you spend so much time together and get to appreciate each other artistically.

Gared: But not humanly.

Chris: But not humanly. And then – we just were up to it. And I always found crossover cool, crossover in every sense, which many, as you can see from the comments, don’t understand. Crossover means, you have two things, in two worlds (could also be another word than "worlds",  the sound broke there) which usually do not overlap each other … and crossover …wuoooooah … (shows with his hands, how much further across “crossover” goes), means that they overlap. And what I find particularly interesting, is that the band Swiss & Die Andern actually are crossover themselves already, because they are a crossover between Punk and Rap … that’s actually a good question, is it still a crossover, if you mix a crossover-band with something else, is it a cross-crossover then? Cross-cross-over-over?

Gared: … or does it then pass each other?

Chris: I don’t know. We are – also Gerrit – it’s known that we listen to Limp Bizkit on some car rides, this happens regularly…

Gared: I can’t tell about you, but with me it was my musical youth, that's just in me these crossover-things.

Chris: For me it actually was H-Blockx before Limp Bizkit, that was around ‘94.

Gared: Exactly. That passed me by, due to age.

Chris: In ’94 I was fourteen and I remember it well, in the schoolyard with my discman, H-Blockx in my ears.

Gared: Cool.

Chris: Most often I found Hip Hop without heavy guitars kind of stupid, that has changed meanwhile, I like many Rap things, except for that (mumbling sound) Mumble-Rap shit.

Gared: Oh God. Nobody can understand that anyway.

Chris: No. That’s why.

Gared: On we go!

 

(07:34)

Q: Can you imagine doing more crossover projects with other bands? 

Chris: Crossover or collaboration? It would only be a crossover, if it is with bands coming from noticeably different genres. There was also a comment – there was this poll in the Fan Group, “Who would like a version of “Schwarz Tot Gold” without Rap?” …or without the Hip Hop part or without Swiss’ part.

Gared: That would destroy the factor “crossover” then.

Chris: Exactly. My reply was “What’s the sense of crossover then?” Then someone commented “Dark Wave and Gothic Metal”. But these two are on the same line somehow anyway, only one is a bit heavier than the other, then it’s not crossover any more.

Gared: That would rather be a feature or whatever you would call that.

Chris: What genres would you like to do a crossover with at some point?

Gared: I find…

Chris: Reggae.

Gared: *laughs* exactly, definitely Reggae. Maybe I would get to like Reggae then. I have to admit that I hate Reggae like the plague, I must confess to my shame. Actually I have to confess to my shame that I listened to Reggae when I was sixteen and… stupid.

Chris: What else do you have to confess to your shame?

Gared: Woah, where should I start? This all goes into my memoirs. Gared Dirge – A Life in the Middle Lane. Ehm, I honestly have to admit, that it is a bit difficult to find something, that fits somehow but is also… I think, with “La Bomba” we created our own crossover, genre-wise speaking, back then already, then I already thought, “What could top this?” – and with this here somehow as well. I draw a mental blank here, I honestly have to admit. I like to get surprised again, suggestions are welcome.

Chris: I’d find Jewish folk music, this Klezmer-music…

Gared: That kind of elements, yes,

Chris: I’d find that really cool, the problem is that – depending on which context you have contentwise – you probably get into discussions about political incorrectness pretty fast, if you do it wrong, because it is always a sensitive topic.

Gared: Of course, someone will always be offended.

Chris: But purely in terms of taste I totally like these clarinets.

Gared: This whining, actually almost singing clarinets. Yeah, me too.

 

(09:44)

Chris: Here’s an interesting question.

Q: How far has the "Fears" album remaster progressed and are you trying to maintain the special mood of "Fears" or rather go to the style of “Till Death Us Do Part”?

Chris: Caution, do not confuse that. That was a remake, we re-recorded it all (refering to "Till Death Us Do Part). “To remaster” means, that you take the ready, already mastered track, the stereo-track, and try to push it in the direction of nowaday’s listening conditions or listening habits, concerning master sound. Which means, it will sound a bit more brilliant in the high notes and all – besides that it won’t sound different. It is nothing more than a re-release of the first album, which will be slightly remastered. We are not recording the whole first album anew.

 

(10:33)

Gared: I find this one actually… we almost answered it for a bit already though, but … surprised.

Q: Are you surprised - now it goes away … just stay here! - about your fans’ reactions about the song, they vary a lot, much more than usual ?

Chris: I have to admit, I’m not surprised at all, I expected it to be exactly like this, I even expected more hate.

Gared: Me too, frankly speaking. I am actually positively surprised at how well this was received – and the usual – nah, not “the usual suspects”, as that would refer to persons – the expected negative comments from both sides actually show, that you did your job well. If this doesn’t polarize, you have missed the target.

Chris: I had no …… *continues his answer in English*

 

(14:18)

Chris: Schwarz… Schwarz Tot Gold, he means.

Gared: STG –is vuikuhl (Austrian and Bavarian dialect for “really cool”)

Chris:  Vuikuhl.

Gared: (quoting an 80s Bavarian pop song) “Vui z’fui Gfui!” ("Way too much emotion")

Chris: Really cool ("voll cool"). Any more German questions, we'll have to do that in turns.

Gared: Yeah.

 

(17:11)

Q: Is there an option that you might perform "Schwarz Tot Gold" together with Swiss at the end of the year?

Chris: Yes, I think so.

Gared: Good idea.

Chris: I have time on that day, let’s hope they found a vaccine by then, so concerts can take place again.

 

(20:03)

Q: Gared, what has happened to your hair?

Gared: It’s gone!

Chris: I would simply assume now that you’ve been at the hairdresser’s.

Gared: Yes, I can confirm this theory. The hair is gone, I recognized the signs of my body – oxbow hairline – so I thought, now’s the right time, after 15 years with long hair…

Chris: Privy counsillor’s edges, without even being a privy counsillor. What is a privy counsillor actually? (“Oxbow hairline” is called “privy counsillor’s corners” in German)

Gared: Actually it wasn’t even corners, these are usually pretty round.

Chris: And why do they have corners? And what are you doing now?

Gared: I keep scrolling so we are fully visible again.

Chris: You liked that?

Gared: I liked that. I want to see us. Hard to believe, but …

 

(20:38)

Q: Do you still play older songs like "Blood For Blood" in concerts, if there were concerts now?

Chris: Yes, of course we do.

Gared: If it fits.

Chris: We also play older songs, but the more albums you release, the more difficult it gets to play enough of each album.

Gared: Plus the hits, that everybody is expecting and that we are up to play.

Chris: Someone will always be disappointed because something didn’t get played.

 

(21:21)

Chris *reads*: I don’t like Rap all that much, but this song blew me away from the first note on, it really fits…- why does it scroll now??

Gared: I think you can just fix that.

Chris: You can simply keep it here?

Gared: Yes, click on “fix” over there. Maybe that helps. There it says, “fix”.

Chris: There, "fix".

Gared: Cool!

Chris: No. Where is that question now?

Gared: Probably on top. It was worth a try. No. There it is.

Chris: There!

Gared: Nice!

Chris: But that’s stupid, too.

Gared: Yeah

Chris: "I don’t like Rap all that much, but it really fits together perfectly, the video is sensational, the plenty of details,(mumbles), thanks a lot" - I thought, this was a question, but thanks a lot, I’m glad you liked it.

 

(22:48)

*confusion going on, whether the video has stopped*

Gared: Maybe we are still audible nevertheless. As I hope. I think, we are …

Chris: Where are you now at the live?

Gared: I think we are still on air. Okay. We are still on air! Cool! ….. owh I love to hear myself. Not.

 

(24:26)

Q: Where is Chrystal?

Gared: Yeah, where IS Chrystal?

Chris: *answers in English*

 

(24:39)

Q: Did you answer my question already?

Chris: I don’t know, Jessica, please ask again, we get questions in a second cycle here, maybe we’ll see it straight away then.

 

(24:52)

Q: Is it allowed to …….(that part of the question is apparently written in not understandable German, thus can’t be translated either). Was that interesting for you?

Gared: I’m not quite sure if I get that right.

Chris: Dear Micha, please ask that question again, we didn't exactly get that. But I'll see, maybe there is something on my, erm…

 

(25:20)

Gared *reads*: I love animals; despite that, the hardest part - for me - in that video was the tongue kiss with the dog. - Yes, how was it like?

Chris: Gross. I find- I find-

Gared: Did it stink?

Chris: I find dog tongues in my face super fucking gross.

Gared: Mhm.

Chris: But it was-

Gared: I mean, they lick their… well.

Chris: It has no balls, that dog.

Gared: I wanted to say assholes, but…

Chris: Yes.

Gared: Hopefully it still has THAT.

*laughter*

Gared: Because else it is full of shit.

Chris: It got asstrated. (wordplay: ass + castrated)

 

(25:55)

Chris: Do something with Eisbrecher again!

 

 

(Video stops here.) 

 

 

Part 2:

 

Chris: We had 500 people watching, 500!

Gared: 500!

Chris: They won’t all come back again.

Gared: But maybe 500 others will show up now? That would be nice.

Chris: Are we live already? Are we live already?

Gared: I think we have been live already for 15-16-17-18 seconds.

Chris: We had 500! They will never come back again, all of them.

Gared: Yeah. There’ll be other ones. What do you have there? *looks at Chris’ phone*

Chris: Some advert.

Gared: Do you always watch something like that in the evening?

Chris: I don’t know either, why I’m shown that.

Gared: Yeah sure.

Chris: I always watch other things in the evening.

Gared: Hoppel-Western ("Lolloping westerns", means porn.)

Chris: Hoppel-Western. Yes. Also sometimes.

Gared: I know that. Really nice.

Chris: What is your favourite Hoppel-Western?

Gared: Fucks Bunny (wordplay with Bugs Bunny)

 

(0:37)

Chris: masturbate…… Meanwhile we’ve got 152 people watching again.

Gared: Boaah!

 

(3:27)

Chris: Oh, there’s a silverfish.

Gared: These are actually pretty beneficial …?

Chris: No, it was a fly.

Gared: Also beneficial. For sure.

 

(3:48)

Chris: look, we got 376 people watching now, not 500, some have switched off now. The audience rate…

Gared: They will come eventually.

 

(3:55)

Q: Has the crow been especially trained for the video shoot or has it been a long “Let’s see, where it lands…”?

Chris: Neither nor.

Gared: Or both somehow.

Chris: Yes, but that crow, no, it’s not trained, it was a young crow, that just flew to someone I know – and now it lives there on a big farm. There are more birds there, that family has some birds actually – it lives there now. And it just was up to visit us. It could be lured somehow, I had those fat, ugly worms somehow, which I fed to it…

Gared: It probably also wonders about the stuff that we eat.  – Who is that Gerard?

Chris: Gerard. Gerard.

 

(5:38)

Chris *reads*: "Lennard Schmitt and Jan Borowski stink like feet." (apparently talking about their photographers)

Gared: That is….

Chris: No, only Jan Borowski, ehm, Lennard Schmitt stinks like feet, Jan Borowski stinks like poop. And bucket beer.

Gared: What?

Chris: Bucket beer.

 

(06:30)

Chris: Vergenusswurzeln (intranslatable slang for "vergewaltigen", which means "to rape". "Genuss" means "enjoyment" and "Wurzel" means "root")

Gared: Vergenusswurzeln, exactly. Vergewohltätigt. ("vergewohltätigen" is another intranslatable slang term for the same thing, "wohltätig" means "charitable".)

 

(7:58)

(Christopher Street Day is the German equivalent of Pride Parade.)

 

(08:11)

Gared: There’s Micha again. I think, he wants to ask, if he can start a Lord of the Lost Cover band. Or may start. If that would be ok for us.

Chris: Oh, Cover band!

Gared: If you’re up to it, of course!

Chris: Yeah sure, go for it! You are very welcome to do that.

Gared: And also you are very welcome, once you have put together a band and you perform, to take videos and upload them on youtube or to link it to us on Facebook, so we get to see it. We are always very eager to get Fan-Art in the broadest sense – and also to share it then. So – go for it!

 

(10:12)

Chris: Look, the Germans have all run away – there’s only English questions here now.

Gared: Well, good night! It’s getting late. Sandman time is over already.

 

(12:42)

Q: Can you do a shop take-over again?

Gared: Very briefly a different topic…

Chris: Yes, we’ll do, but later on.

Gared: In any case!

Chris: We just very recently did that.

Gared: Exactly. We just did that, but we will surely do that again in irregular intervals, especially, because it is a lot of fun. Hard to believe.

Chris: We will do that around Christmas, mainly because we – listen up! – are planning to make ugly Christmas sweaters. You know, those knitted pullovers with reindeers and… other satanic symbols …

Gared: The typical- as in every Baphomet image, the typical reindeer … it’s commonly known.  

 

(20:33)

Chris: Awh, a Crossover with Scooter, that would be cool!

Gared: But then we’d probably sound too much like what Eskimo …

Chris: Like Blutengel?

Gared: That also, but like that what Eskimo Callboy just did with their “Hyper, Hyper”.

Chris: Oh, that doesn’t work.

Gared: I unfortunately find that song really funny and the video even more cool.

Chris: I don’t like it. And I say it on purpose, folks, “I don’t like it!”.

Gared: Yeah, you don’t say that it’s crap. That’s subjective.

Chris: I really don’t like it.

Gared: I watched it for the first time yesterday and I’m really enjoying it. But… generally… why not with Scooter? You do know Hans-Peter.

 

 

(22:02)

Chris: Interesting question here!

Q: What function does the dancer have in the video? To what extent does she reinforce the message of the video?

Chris: Not at all! The dancer reinforces editing dynamics in the video. If you have a dancer, male or female, who is great to look at with their moves, and it totally fits everything, these moves fit to everything that is connected somehow - for me - to Rap music or Crossover, and on the other hand we found it funny – if you pay attention, which is not that easy with such a fast cut video, that this dancer unites both styles optically. On one hand she wears a typical Hip Hop outfit, on the other hand she has a black neck.

Gared: Correct.

Chris: Which is maybe not that visible with her, because on one hand she sweated a lot and on the other hand her skin is also darker naturally, but she had that black neck and we found it funny to also combine this in/on the dancer. But she does not reinforce the message. She’s just fun.

 

(23:03)

Q: Do you also miss the concerts as much as we do?

Gared: YES.

Chris: I think, we miss concerts more than you do, because …

Gared: *slightly disapproving sound*. You’re right. 

Chris: I simply claim that. I’m not trying to devalue your concert experiences here, but for you the shows are … maybe your favourite leisure activity. For us the concerts are not only our profession but also our mission.

Gared: Well said. Got a point here.

Chris: And we can not do that now. We can not do, what we have to do, and additionally we also miss it financially, as this year all five of us have completely lost more than half of our annual income.

Gared: Nik posted something nice as a quote or shared something recently: “2020 – the year that I made my profession my hobby!”

 

(23:57)

Q: Why do you not play left-handed instruments?

Gared: Good question, why do we not play left-handed instruments? We have to add, that 3/5 of us are left-handed, Chris, Pi and me.

Chris: You’re left-handed, too?

Gared: I can also …(he could have meant to either slap him or give him a handjob) you with my right… well, let’s leave it that way. You don’t know, when it’s my birthday, you don’t know, if I’m left-handed …

Chris: It doesn’t matter!

Gared: But you remember my name, don’t you?

Chris: Yes, Pi, now go on!

Gared: Well yes. Why we don’t play left-handed instruments … on one hand it depends on how you have learned it in the first place, on the other hand it just doesn’t make much sense to us, because most instruments involve both hands anyway. The man will show us this, using a mini guitar.

Chris: Well I have never understood, why with a guitar or a ukulele which is so nicely tuned…

Gared: Absolutely beautiful – Stefan Raab flashbacks (German tv moderator)

Chris: Oh yeah! “I sing you a little Harmsigramm now” (mimicking said moderator).  I have never understood, as a right-handed person, why THIS hand on the guitar should be more important than fucking THAT ONE! Or why I, just because I am left-handed, should turn it around. Someone once explained it to me, something about coordination and stuff, but honestly… this doesn’t make sense to me.

Gared:  If you don’t learn it differently from the start… in from the front side. (word play. "Von vorn herein" means "from the start", "von vorne rein" means "in from the front side".)

Chris: I started with playing the cello, and by that time I was already interested in guitars. Then that question really came up towards my parents “Your child is left-handed, what about getting a left-handed instrument?” – and I was not completely stupid back then at 5 years old, I knew that left-handed people are rare, so I asked, “Are there cool E-guitars in left-handed version?” And already back then they answered, “Yes, but they are harder to get and they are more expensive.” So I said, “Fuck you then” -I did not really say that as a five year old, but something similar…

Gared: you only said that when you were six.

Chris: Exactly.

Gared: Interestingly, when I started to play drums at …

Chris: (starts to play and sing a song about Gared starting to play drums) "When I started playing the drums, there the Gerrit"… doh, that chords sound ugly!

Gared: That’s jazz, I like it!

Chris: Well, when you…?

Gared: …started to learn drums-

Chris: *singing* "to play!"

Gared: …or to play, I shared the drum set with my brother, who is not only a mechanical engineer but also a right handed person, and I found it stupid to constantly have to rebuild that drum set, which you can do with drums, more or less.

Chris: I'll have to hold my crotch into the pants now…

Gared: Hold your thing to the picture. And so I just didn’t play with my hands crossed as drummers usually do it… what are you doing there???

Chris: I try to hang that thing back in its place!

Gared: … but like this.

Chris: Hold my chair, will you, so it won’t move away backwards! (German : Stuhl= chair or feces)

Gared: Now what does THAT sound like. Ugly. Well, I played drums the wrong way around, so to speak…

Chris: May I push your chair forward?

Gared: A polite way to ask for anal sex. At some point I noticed that it looks stupid so I re-trained to right-handed playing and never looked back since. Which was the end of this chapter. So, it does not necessarily make sense.

 

(27:08)

Q: Do you know, if the Gothic meets Classic will take place?

Chris: Yes, I know, but you will always learn everything that we are allowed to give away about concerts as soon as we are allowed to give it away. You’ll find it here on our Facebook page under “concerts” then.

 

(29:12)

Q: How do your families deal with your music?

Gared: Mine enjoys/celebrates it.

Chris: Ah, that’s how the question is meant probably, how they like it. Mine finds it cool too, of course there’s always someone, who….

Gared: There are also bourgeois categories.

Chris: Of course it is great, if your parents are your biggest fans, but it can hardly be any more subjective than that, which is totally okay.

Gared: They also should be your biggest critics, somehow.

Chris: That too, yes.

Gared:  Everybody is trying to make his parents as happy and proud as possible, that is the concern of us all, I think, as long as you did not break with them completely, and to get support and approval by them, even if you don't want to assume that people between the ages of 60 and 80 are totally enjoying/celebrating it, this is the best feeling you can get.

Chris: Should I show the Austrians here, *mocks yodeling*, cheers! Like that…

Gared: I think, you and Pi could do that better.

 

(30:23)

Q: Do you still play "Blood For Blood" in concerts?

Gared: We have answered this question already.

Chris: Yes!

Gared: just you listen!

Chris: *reads*: "Music is a matter of taste."

Gared: Correct. And I think, that can be left as it is.

Chris: or haven’t there been any new questions?

Gared: No, these are all a few minutes old.

Chris: Maybe we just get shown them in a shitty way.

Gared: Maybe we are getting boring … or could it be that you are boring? Can’t you think of questions?

 

(34:48)

Chris *reads*: "I am boring, you are boring, we are all boring."  – yeah! That’s cool.

 

(34:57)

Q: Chris, do you enjoy to play a female or why is it always you playing the woman?

Chris: Yes, actually I really enjoy that, I always had big fun dressing up as a woman, however – and I get asked that often as well, in case the question alludes to it – without sexual stimulus. It doesn’t make me horny to dress up as a woman. But it’s big fun to me. I like the metamorphosis, I enjoy to look in the mirror, to put as much effort as I can, as good as possible somehow – and also as much a bitch as possible – to slip into another role. This is simply the fun of dressing up. And if this works, it is fascinating. I really enjoy that. And that’s why it’s often me, who has to dress up as a woman. Gerrit also does that sometimes…

Gared (from the background): What?

 

(38:56)

Q: Gared, what is your eye colour?

Chris: No idea, he probably has none at all.

Gared: You really don’t know shit! You ignorant piece of shit. Do you at least know how short my penis is?

Chris: Chris Harms, the reason for my depression.

Gared: Got a point there.

Chris: How short your penis is? I know that.

Gared: Blue. Yes, it is so short that it …

Chris: 21 centimeters short. 

Gared: It is so short that it sits on top of the ballsack. This is 21 centimeters. At least that is what women keep telling me. Well no, my eyes are blue, and so are my balls sometimes.

Chris: Is that that famous “Behind Blue Eyes” then? (wordplay in German, in German slang “ball (testicle)” is called “Ei” which sounds like Eye”)

 

(40:16)

Q: Why are you that brutal towards women in some videos?

Chris: I find that question difficult somehow, because it…

Gared: Actually it is always an interplay, isn’t it?

Chris: I think, I  know, what is meant, but… it is not the case that in some videos I am brutal towards women just like this, but  … a music video always tells a story somehow. As a bottom line it is an art installation in moving images. So… ask questions particularly about the video you are just watching, where that violence, no matter if it comes from me and no matter towards whom this violence is expressed, why it is there. We have often read things like “Lord of the Lost hate women.” because of the videos – there is always a reason why this happens in that video. For example – maybe you are alluding to “Beyond Beautiful”. What is visible there in that video, even if I am reluctant to explain art – is the attempt to show, how close  - with really extreme passion, really big love, really extreme passion -  how fast you get to a point, and how thin the ridge is – at which love can tilt over to violence or to hate. As many may know from relationships. Those, who hate each other the most, are those, who have loved each other the most beforehand. You don’t hate somebody abysmally, who you didn’t give a damn about before. Rarely. Unless someone shows up and kills your pet – of course you hate that person then, and beforehand you didn’t give a damn about them. But you know what I’m talking about, right? The normal, dynamic way behind it. And "Beyond Beautiful" for example is supposed to show exactly this, how narrow the ridge is, how fast it can tilt over, a bit also that “If it can’t get any better, you should stop.”, or as you know it with children – it goes on until one of them cries. Little children want to romp and “Tickle me!” and “I want to go up there!” and AAAAH! – and bam! What happens? One of them cries. Because really quickly – oops, suddenly it tilts. Furthermore in "Beyond Beautiful" it gets played backwards again then and ends with a kiss at the end of the video. So it actually is supposed to show pure imagination. A vision. It is not a video where senseless violence against women is to be shown or glorified. Of course I am aware that one could understand it like that, if you don’t explain the meaning.

Gared: And if you don’t watch it until the end.

Chris: And that is of course always the danger with radical art, but non-radical art is not interesting to us. This as a little example.

 

(43:10)

Q: Lord of the Lost hate women. What about Till Lindemann, Rammstein then?

Chris: No idea, I don’t watch Rammstein and Till Lindemann videos and I don’t listen to their music for many years, because it gives me a very unpleasant feeling, I start feeling bad when I just hear (no typo!) an album cover.

Gared: When I HEAR an album cover?

Chris: when I see an album cover. With that Till Lindemann stuff the images are enough for me already, to me it has totally negative energies, even I as a total Anti-Esotericist say that. I’m not taking that, sorr- sowwy.

Gared: Sowwy!

 

(44:35)

Q: Chris, can you show, how you do your current hairdo?

Gared: Oh yeah! Show us the “Assi-Palme”  ("anti-social-person palm tree", slang for a ponytail right on top of the head, the kind that Vicky Pollard in Little Britain has.)

Chris: I can show you that. This question has been asked before. Ok, now watch. I’ll do it once from each direction, okay? I do it showing the front, so.

Gared: I also always do it from the front first. Chris Harms Assi-Palme tutorial.

Chris: Hairdo-tutorial. (he continues in English)

 

(45:58)

Chris: And afterwards Gerrit will show you how he polishes his rocket.

Gared : There the salmon gets nicely buttered from behind today. ("Da wird heute schön der Lachs von achtern gebuttert", meaning sex from behind.)

 

(46:13)

Chris: It’s really very long. Do you want to see how long it is? Ha! Do you want to see? Do you want to see how long it is?

Gared: There you can see.

Chris: I can show you how long it is. The hair is super long.

 

(46:34)

Q: Hello! ("Moinsen!") How do you deal in your private life - oh, that's nice, the question was nice - how do you deal in your private life with people who tend to drift politically in the opposite direction and/or deny Corona for example? Do such people even exist in your environment or do you avoid them directly out of self-protection because they seem to be a lost case either way? (The term "Hopfen und Malz verloren" for "being a lost case" literally translates as "hops and malt lost")

Gared: I think, this is a self-regulating problem, because…well I have like two or three people in my environment, to which the contact has now rather ended, exactly for this reason.  Because then I don't feel like dealing with it if you are always being questioned anyway.

Chris: There is just a certain kind of extremism in certain things, where at some point I lost the fun in discussing. For example, if there’s a discussion going on, whether it is ok, that gay people and lesbians live among us just like that. There are a lot of people who question this and try to break up a discussion of principles. I leave the room then. I don’t do this kind of discussion. Nor do I lead a discussion about what was perhaps good among what Hitler did. Hitler only did one good thing: Hitler killed Hitler.

Gared: This! He was the only one who managed to do so.

Chris: I just don’t do such discussions. And some things are now being discussed in the times of corona denial and by some right-wing extremists, I have no need at all for that. I really have no need for that.

Gared: It doesn’t get you anywhere either, because you can not change this kind of people.

Chris: That’s what I’m saying.

Gared: And they can’t change you either.

Chris: There’s people who are so stuck – it’s like trying to educate people in Youtube comments. Someone writes some hateful Youtube comment,  you reply to it… what do you think is going to happen? That he says, “Oh, you’re right! I’m totally sorry, my comment was really stupid and totally offensive and wrong.” – that’s nonsense.

Gared: It’s like insulting other road users from behind your steering wheel – as they can’t hear you in their cars. And it is as stupid as trying to “heal” gay people – which people apparently try.

Chris: You could as well try to honk away a traffic jam – that “works” as well. 

Gared: The hero of the A2 (highway near Hamburg).

 

(50:38)

Q: Are the videos as important to you as the music?

Chris: That depends on the video. For example the video to "Under The Sun" - it looks cool, but is not important at all. Actually. It’s a performance video.

Gared: And we were up to it.

Chris: And we were up to it. In this case the song is more important to me. And then there’s videos which are – I wouldn’t say more important than the music, but which are close to the music, in terms of importance. Videos, in which  you put lots and lots and lots of effort, to create something totally unique. As for example the video to "Till Death Us Do Part". I cannot say there, that the video is more important than the song – the video is comedy, whereas the song is a matter of the heart – but the video is very important to me, because it represents something special. So this happens.

 

(53:05)

Q: What’s the meaning of one of your tattoos?

Chris: One of my tattoos?

Gared: Explain this one, that heart on your finger … nonsense.

Chris: I do, pleasantly. I just thought it was nice to tell people "I love you" in this way

Gared: Fuck you, with love.

Chris: Yeah. This one for example. For me a heart on a middle finger is an oxymoron in itself, which I find fascinating. I like always contrasts and contradictions. And what arises in between.

Gared: A field of tension.

Chris: Right! I have some more questions here. On my… thing.

Gared: Yeah, go for it. How does Chris Harms look at his phone?

Chris: Like this. Chris Harms look at his phone like this.  (continuing in English)

 

(55:12)

Chris: *gasp* my mother is watching!

Gared: Awww dear! Hey, Oldie!

Chris: Could you please all write “Hi Mum”? That would be very nice.

Gared: Hello darling!

 

(55:21)

Chris *reads*: "to honk away a traffic jam" – I will try that anyway!  - "please come perform in Netherlands, it is pretty difficult for us to get tickets for Germany. Please accept my friendship request on Facebook. Beautiful hair, Chris."

Chris: We will surely try to go to Netherlands on the next tour, if that works out or not depends on many factors, as you will see. Friendship on Facebook… you know, Facebook is limited to 5000 friends. Me or one of our admins looks at the friendship requests every few weeks and accepts as many requests as Facebook allows, until it says, “no more.”

 

(56:48)

Gared *reads*: "Hi Mum!"  - look, here we get suggestions for other bars. Okay, now everybody says Hello to your Mum.

 

(57:43)

Q: What was the most magical live experience, where the whole hall was crackling?

Gared: What was the question?

Chris: The most magical live experience. That differs. It’s great, if the hall is really crowded and when you play "Lighthouse" at the end, somehow all the lights go on.

Gared: Oh yes.

Chris: That’s cool of course. It’s cool when everybody sings along, for example at "Raining Stars". But it’s difficult. I find it really hard to commit myself there.

Gared: I think, at the European tour now in January and February I already found the beginning of the set really crackling with …what’s it called? "Lament For The Condemned".

Chris: Indeed.

Gared: With this spooky intro and then those wardrums hitting in from Nik and myself. That builds up so slowly and then turns into such a heavy wall . There it crackles from the very start.

 

(58:54)

Q: Is that a portrait of Frida Kahlo there behind you on the picture wall?

Chris: No.

Gared: Don’t think so.

Chris: No. No Frida Kahlo here.

Gared: Maybe it is “Kater Karlo” (German name for Black Pete from Mickey Mouse, his last name sounds a bit similar)

 

(59:12)

Q: To you so many things seem to come so easy, instruments, learning to speak languages… have you ever thought about your intelligence level? Are you highly gifted or do you feel, such things…

Gared: No.

Chris: Okay, very briefly about this: of course we do have some musical talent, otherwise we wouldn’t do this, but if you have been dealing with learning how to play instruments since you were 3 or 4 years old – then as an adult you’re in a state, that you’ve been learning it for your whole life so far. So I would not say that “it comes easy”...

Gared: It's just this-

Chris: …or that it automatically means you’re highly gifted. One has trained for this for a long, long time, you know. Well, of course the two of us are highly gifted – (the end of the sentence was cut off)

Gared: And that’s it. In terms of intelligence… there one must unfortunately also differentiate – we have made some really good experiences there… the difference between - oh, thank you, Pi, "come to Brazil". Okay - between the “learned” / “knowledge” crap and emotional, human intelligence. This is not automatically the same thing and those who have one of it do not necessarily have the other one also. People who are incredibly good at playing their instruments but are not necessarily also good humans. And also not very clever interpersonally.

 

(1:01:57)

Gared: Do we go to your bedroom when we’re done here?

Chris: People, now you can see what this hairdo really is made for.

Gared: Yeah, a bit higher, a bit higher, yeah. Thank you baby, you were great. This usually doesn’t happen to me.

Chris: That someone is great?

Gared: Yes, that also, unfortunately. Thank you, thank you, I was great.

 

(1:02:59)

Gared: Well, until Chris is finished…

Chris: You have no clue what to do with your spare time.

Gared: Yeah, that’s terrible. I think I’ll go to a …….. (sorry, not understandable) or alike.

 

(1:03:20)

Gared: I look like the singer of the Crüxshadows…sorry.

Chris: And I look like …

Gared: Chris Harms.

Chris: Like Zakk Wylde.

Gared: Yeah. The pinch harmonics are missing.  *reads*: "I love you, Chris."  – I would reconsider that.

 

(1:04:30)

Gared *reads*: "Chris looks like a Babushka."

Chris: Thank you. Ok, last question. Question in German.

Gared: Last question, German question. (Likely a reference to the phrase "Deutsche Sprache, schwere Sprache", meaning "German language, difficult language".)

Chris: We are waiting for one more question in German.

Gared: Now you surely take especially much time for that.

Chris: Yeah. We’re waiting. Exactly. Well. That’s a question in English.

Gared: And it’s also a very general question.

 

(1:05:00)

Chris: Then we call it a day.

Gared: Then we shout it a day. (wondering what that literally means actually.)

Chris: That was a day!!!

Gared: Day! … then we shout, “it a day”. A day! …..(???)

Chris: Now nobody comes forth with a question in German.

Gared: Well. You are so smart, all of you. And again our video cannot be shown. 

Chris: But that’s not a bug.

Gared: Yeah. The fault is not ours.

Chris: Ah, now. *reads*: "Why does there always have to be politics and certainly not Hitler. Was – dies - is dead - and you are alive and make great music, I’m an old woman haha but I still talk with you  about politics and …"

Gared: I think we simply skip this question and pick another one.

Chris: I didn’t understand that one. *reads* Where is Class?  - On Vacation. That’s it.

Gared: That was the last question in German. Bye, it was nice!

Chris: Bye!

 

 

Translation: Margit Güttersberger

Proofreading: Jari Winter