Lord Of The Sport #2 - Chris & Pi (7 - 5 -2020)
(NOTE: Below we have included ONLY the German parts of the livestream, NOT the English ones.)
(-1:31:29)
Chris: It’s shitty back here.
Pi: What? Shat on?
Chris: It’s somehow uncomfortable here.
Pi: (fucking up) this doesn’t count yet.
Chris: You’re saying, this doesn’t count as fucked up yet?
Pi: Exactly.
Chris: From when on does it count as fucked up?
Pi: Just now.
Chris: Boo!
Pi: Now.
Chris: Boo! What I wanted to tell you, I recently met Bengt in the DarkRoom.
Pi: Yes. But you wore a mask, right?
Chris: That was cool. With 2 meters distance, everybody wearing masks…
Pi: There you need to have a long one.
Chris: Yes.
Pi: Yes. And why have you been there?
Chris: No idea, why have YOU been there? I heard your voice.
Pi: You don’t even know, if I was there.
Chris: That’s why it was so cool!
Pi: Now! I can’t go on any longer.
(-1:30:29)
Chris: Do you see the water today?
Pi: I see the water, yes.
Chris: I mean the current tide. Is there a word for “tides” in singular?
Pi: The tide.
Chris: Look, it is really almost horizontal.
Pi: Dude! The fish have a strong need to urinate again.
Chris: Does it work here better here in the front?
Pi: It’s better here.
Chris: It’s not that inclined here.
Pi: Indeed, it’s better here.
Chris: You’re almost out of sight.
Pi: Yes. Tide-tides. But actually tides always come in twos. There IS not just one.
Chris: Flow and ebb.
Pi: Fl-ebb.
Chris: Here there’s always flow and ebb.
Pi: There are some other examples as well… like, is there a counterpart to “distance”? - dance? (word play, as in German “dance” is “Tanz”, which sounds like a part of “Distanz”) … dis-tance and?
Chris: eh – to distance? - tight dance.
Pi: So this is distance – and if I did …that’s tight dance.
Chris: Exactly.
Pi: I see.
Chris: And then there’s standard dance, that’s somehow in between.
Pi: Ah yes, and there’s also Latin American Dance.
Chris: Doesn’t that count as standard too?
Pi: No, it’s everything but standard.
Chris: I think our faces are not visible, we need to do it like this *keeps skipping while bowing downwards*
Pi: I’m trying this here.
Chris: You look stupid. Put that a bit higher maybe.
Pi: Yes.
Chris: There! Now you can see us.
Pi: Much better. It’s allowed to stop for a little, by the way.
Chris: Right. Sometimes it helps to do this for 5 seconds, okay, focus… and on it goes.
Pi: It is like getting sleep in life.
Chris: Maybe someone from the Guiness book of World Records will say, “No, that doesn’t count!” – But that’s the LOTL book of records here.
Pi: That Guiness book of World Records has only been invented… that’s a strange guy, that Peter Guiness. Getting from a book to a beer. Totally weird. That he says, he is the one to measure things – and that he is right then.
Chris: They named the drink after the book, right?
Pi: Yes. The book pages...
Chris: Never judge a book by its Guiness.
Pi: That’s a saying, yes.
Chris: Yes.
Pi: Never cover a book with a judge.
Chris: We want to already...
Pi: *laughs out loud* what is it with you?
Chris: That saying.. never cover a book…. Never cover a book.
Pi: You lick in foreigners (word game again… you speak in foreign tongues… Pi twisted it to this)
Chris: Hey people out there, we have been skipping for five minutes by now, so we have managed 7% already.
Pi: We’re doing well. You’re doing well as well.
Chris: We would like to reveal something about the next album.
Pi: Yes... Wait, would we?
Chris: Yes. Not Swan Songs, but the next real album. In the next album, there will not be real songs.
Pi: Don’t expect something real.
Chris: We only imagine the songs for the next album.
Pi: Yes. We only create them.
Chris: They are only created. They won’t be real songs.
Pi: Never again will we make real songs.
Chris: Nope.
Pi: We just imagine them.
Chris: As well as in Swan Songs. That’s not real songs either, it’s all just from the computer.
Pi: The biggest part of it at least.
Chris: One is real.
Pi: One is real.
Chris: 4:33
Pi: That one is real.
Chris: Is it exhausting today for you too?
Pi: It is. But we did yesterday too… did we do rope skipping yesterday? Yes.
Chris: Yes. In the morning.
Pi: So…
Chris: 31 hours ago.
Pi: I didn’t remember that, it felt so long ago.
Chris: It has been a long time since we last met.
Pi: Yes. Really long.
Chris: I really hurt.
Pi: Because of this almost daily roping we get to see each other much more often than usual.
Chris: I see you.
Pi: I see you too.
Chris: I need to watch Avatar again.
Pi: I already did.
Chris: Attention, guys, we now read the names of the ships that are passing by to you: This is the “Harburg”.
Pi: From the “Deutscher Ring”…
Chris: …sponsored by the “Deutscher Ring”. Driven by my friend Dietmar, he’s the captain, he has the boat licence class A, B and 3.
Pi: He has a big barge.
Chris: He is only flying big vessels. Only the big ones. A good friend of mine.
Pi: The nice thing about talking that much shit, is that the time is really flying then.
Chris: Apparently I don’t talk that much shit, as for me the time is going really slow.
Pi: Ok, so if one would talk that much shit.
Chris: At any rate I’m so warm already that I can soon take my hat off.
Pi: Me too. Put off something. But I won’t reveal, what exactly.
Chris: At every jump you put off something. In every section. Let’s try that. Strip-roping.
Pi: You think that’s possible?
Chris: Stroping.
Pi: Stroping.
Chris: If you do it really fast, it is a “Strop-o-scope”.
Pi: Stropocop.
(-1:23:45)
Chris: But now time is really going fast. That’s shitty.
Pi: Synchronized messing up…
Chris: Synchronized messing up. Definitely you guys out there can be sure… let’s do it in English.
(-1:17:23)
Chris: Basler insurance. We get you more secure.
Pi: Even more secure.
Chris: Your safe haven/harbour … word play…. LOL. It’s written on the ship, look!
Pi: Really?
Chris: So that was the second ship. We’ll be counting ships today. Here in Hamburg we don’t do trainspotting, but shipspotting.
Pi: Oh, you fucked up. It’s definitely harder now with the weights.
(-1:11:14)
Chris: So people out there, if you are that guy from “one man one jar”, write it in the comments field.
Pi: Or, Gerrit, you simply answer.
Chris: Just answer yourself.
Pi: Call again.
(-1:09:08)
Chris: Is there someone smoking pot here?
Pi: Yes.
Chris: It totally smells like pot here.
Pi: Someone’s smoking a techno joint.
Chris: Is that the word? “Techno-joint”?
Pi: A techno joint … that’s those steam cigarettes.
Chris: Ah, so these are called techno joints.
(-01:08:29)
Chris: Agent 00… with the license to flirt..
(-01:05:29)
Chris: Look, there’s the seagull king again! (another word play… in German “lion king” is “König der Löwen” and Chris here said “König der Möwen” (=Seagull king )
(-53:06)
Pi: What are they saying? La Bomba playing in the background.
Chris: Yeah sure, we’ll ask the next Samba-Band that comes passing by to play La Bomba.
Pi: Play La Bomba!
(-50:04)
Chris: I urgently need to re-watch Austin Powers. All episodes.
Pi: The scene, where he tries to turn around that vehicle.
Chris: Oh yes, that thing just is stuck.
Pi: That was the best.
Chris: They probably needed a crane to get it in there.
(-48:28)
Chris: Little Elbi. There’s Nala, heading right towards us.
Pi: Oh yes.
(-41:45)
Chris: Nicely peep into the asshole for kilometers.
Pi: Did someone poop in your ass today yet?
Chris: Nobody did. People, I admit it. Nobody has pooped in our asses today.
Pi: I didn’t tell you about it yet. But no, nobody did today yet.
(-27:03)
Pi: *reading* you should do a PodCast about tour memories. That would be very interesting. – We’re doing some more PodCasts, so…
Chris: We can do that. We can actually continue the game we just played in a PodCast… unexpectedly.
(-0:36)
Chris: *reading*: What’s written on the bottle? – “I go living – do you come along?”
Chris: Just always stay cool!
Translation: Margit Güttersberger
Proofreading: Meike Ernst