Lord Of The Sport #1 - Chris & Pi (21 - 4 -2020)
(NOTE: Below we have included ONLY the German parts of the livestream, NOT the English ones.)
(00:03)
Chris: My glasses get foggy.
Pi: That’s why I always wear contacts.
Chris: look…
Pi: I don’t see it.
Chris: one is watching. Six now.
Pi: Cool. Here it’s 37. Mine’s longer…no it’s not.
Chris: There on Instagram you’ve got the young folks…
Pi:..but it’s our band account!
Chris: Yes, that’s what I’m saying. The young folks. Meanwhile Lord of the Lost on Facebook has “retirement home” as target group. That’s why the post with the Heaven Can Wait choir was THAT successful there.
Pi: This totally makes sense. Different age group.
Chris: Indeed. That’s how it is, guys. I have 51 here, how many do you have?
Pi: 156.
(05:52)
Pi: it’s already really warm now.
Chris: It’s warmer than yesterday in the morning.
Pi: Do you have time tomorrow?
Chris: Yes, I have time. How about you?
Pi: I have time tomorrow as well.
Chris: What do you do at 3pm in summer?
Pi: Possibly the wedding in summer.
Chris: Or a festival. At 3pm. In summer.
Pi: The one at 5 pm has been cancelled, too.
Chris: Yes.
Pi: Crap.
Chris: Should we get a little closer so the people…
Pi: Yeah, that’s good.
Chris: So people can’t see my ugly face…
Pi: I jump like this…
Chris: That was one of those super heavy tricks.
Pi: Which didn’t work out.
Chris: Didn’t WORK OUT.
Pi: Didn’t work out.
(07:04)
Chris: I’ll place the camera differently so people will be able to see something.
Pi: Does it work like this?
Chris: Yeah. If I jump higher…
Pi: Do you manage to get your feet above the image section?
Chris: 2 meters distance. What did you do today?
Pi: This morning…
Chris: at the Alster (river)…
Pi: I really was there. Then I was in the studio. And now I’m here.
Chris: Cool.
Pi: In the studio I constantly had handkerchiefs and sanitizer in my hands.
Chris: Why, did you wank all the time?
Pi: I’m only synchronizing porn, so… I also need to get my money’s worth.
Chris: I see.
Pi: I needed sanitizers so the willie stays nice and clean… I don’t want to get penis corona.
Chris: Penis-corona?
Pi: Penis-corona.
Chris: Cool. Perona.
Pi: Isn’t that a place in Italy?
(09:04)
Chris: Now I messed up the thing.
Pi: The mess-band. That’s how you create a mess-band.
Chris: Isn’t mess-band a band?
Pi: Yeah.
Chris: There’s actually quite a lot of bands of that kind out there… just in case people listen now: Tonband ( "tape" in German)
Pi: Klebeband ( "duct tape" in German), Absperrband (barrier tape)...
Chris: Kofferlaufband (luggage strap)...
Pi: Or their little sister tread mill (Laufband)… they were there beforehand.
Chris: It doesn’t work properly with the glasses and that thing here.
Pi: You can’t see any more?
Chris: No, it’s jumping upwards!
Pi: That’s stupid.
(10:04)
Chris: I should have used contacts, too. If you’re from Hamburg, you can spot where we are, right? We’ll be here for 45 more minutes, you can still come here and join us – with 2 meters distance.
Pi: We’ll be doing a rope skipping -Flashmob …Corona edition.
Chris: I thought about posting a Google Maps screenshot, but then we would get accused to be doing an event here.
Pi: Like with those “public” Facebook parties back then.
Chris: Yeah.
Pi: Public Corona party. But … it’s about HEALTH here!
Chris: Exactly. How many minutes to go?
Pi: 3 and a half.
(11:37)
Chris: Yesterday Pi and me fixed the concept for the next Lord of the Lost Rock album.
Pi: Oh yeah.
Chris: I don’t want to tell details, but the final basic concept…
Pi: The cornerstones, so to say.
Chris: It will be so cool.
Pi: Really cool.
Chris: I used to think it’s impossible to surpass Thornstar.
Pi: Right!
Chris: But it will still be cool.
Pi: Really cool. Started cool… ehm no. The joke says, “started strong and then declined strongly...
Chris: …“start weak and then decline strongly.”
Pi: What the farmer doesn’t know, - is just the way it is.
Chris: In case one of our colleagues is watching…what was the name of that gay metal band from Friesland? The one, that we were on tour with?
Pi: Equiliwarum.
Chris: No, the other ones! From up there! The ones who said that “what the farmer doesn’t know” – I don’t remember the names of those bands. What are you doing there, taking a break?
Pi: No, I’m thinking!
Chris: The ones, that were there also with Equilibrium! See it as a quiz!
Pi: Ah – Nailed To Obscurity!
Chris: There you go! If they join… best regards!
Pi: Jan-Ole doesn’t have Instagram, but Carsten…if you join – we’re proud.
Chris: Best regards to Carsten from Nailed To Obscurity. And of course also to Equilibrumbrum. I’m sure, Robse is watching.
Pi: While drinking beer.
Chris: No, he’s joining us at sports, as he did on tour every day.
Pi: Exactly. Every day at 1pm “Yeah, I’m coming in a minute!”
(13:45)
Chris: I just slayed a bumblebee. No joke.
Pi: Hummel Hummel mors Mord (traditional greeting in Hamburg, the first person says "Hummel Hummel" (bumblebee bumblebee) and the other one replies "mors mors". In this case Pi replaced the second “mors” by “murder”)
Chris: My parents have a bumblebee as their pet now. In their garden there’s a bumblebee with a broken wing. They put it in a flat bowl, put flowers in there also, blossoms from the trees, as they like to eat pollen. For three days it is living there in this bowl with its broken wing, eats pollen all day long… you can even pet it. It’s doing fine there. It’s confiding, can’t fly any more, will probably live some more days or weeks in that bowl.
Pi: Does it have a name?
Chris: Uhm…"Hummi"!
Pi: Hummi?
Chris: I just made this up.
Pi: And that’s her name now?
Chris: Or "Hummer". (German word for lobster)
Pi: Hummer.
Chris: Isn’t that cool?
Pi: Yes. Now I want a bumblebee as my pet, too.
Chris: How long to go? 10 more seconds?
Pi: yeah.
(16:03)
Chris: *reading out loud, who’s watching*
Pi: *reads* "Haha, hey, what are you doing there?" – We’re working out – as we announced in our story all day long yesterday! *reads* "Do you workout every day?" – we’re doing it again now.
(19:55)
Pi: Do you know what series I started watching yesterday?
Chris: Pornhub Premium?
Pi: No, I’m done with that already.
Chris: Which one then?
Pi: “Don’t fuck with cats”.
Chris: Cause they’re too tight, or what?
Pi: You make yourself look perv here. I don’t want to place spoilers here.. a documentary about an internet troll, who posts videos of himself torturing cats online, and how then a community builds up to find him and take justice in their own hands. While trying that, they at first catch the wrong person, who then commits suicide because of that… from then on that series gets really fucked up, because at some point the pursuit goes in both directions. Really blatant. I can recommend it.
Chris: I started watching “Carnival Row” yesterday. That’s quite good, too. With … Legolas, what’s his name?
Pi: Orlando Bloom. On Amazon ?
Chris: Yes. Pretty cool. A kind of mix from Jack the Ripper, but there’s also Elves and Trolls and Centaurs. Taking place in a strange world. Cool.
Pi: Sounds pretty nice.
Chris: He’s a CID officer, trying to solve murders, is totally in love with an elf – or a fairy? lady… the actress is a lesbian super model.
Pi: A well-known one?
Chris: YES.
Pi: Cara…?
Chris: Yes indeed.
Pi: With the unpronounceable last name.
Chris: Exactly.
Pi: Cara Avrillavigne.
Chris: Something like that. Pretty hot. Also the series.
Pi: Hahaha yeah.
(22:39)
Chris: Besides that I just watched "Narcos Mexico" … and I’m in the middle of “Better call Saul”.
Pi: Quite the program.
Chris: I’ve got a lot to do!
Pi: Yeah I noticed.
Chris: There’s a lot to do – let’s wait for it.
Pi: I just finished watching “Freud”, a mini-series about Siegmund Freud, you don’t need to watch that -pretty boring considering the fact that it’s about Siegmund Freud.
Chris: Oh, that’s a shame.
Pi: But it’s pretty brutal. And “Euphoria”… on Amazon Prime.
Chris: Also quite the big program.
Pi: It’s over by now. I need a new program. I hope, plenty of people are doing sportswith us now.
Chris: messed up. (24:01) (inaudible)
Pi: Okay, if you think so.
Chris: Yes, I think so.
(24:58)
Chris: I have Disney Plus now.
Pi: When?
Chris: Cool.
Pi: I don’t understand you.
Chris: I have Disney Plus.
Pi: Ah, you have Disney Plus! Now I got that. Is it really that cool?
Chris: Yes. Totally cool. By the way, I’m currently reading Rilke.
Pi: Really, Rilke?
Chris: Poems by Rilke. Very cool. I can recommend that.
Pi: I still need to pick up the documents from you.
Chris: Makes cool lyrics.
Pi: Really?
Chris: You could use pretty much every Rilke poem as cool German lyrics.
Pi: Cool. What about copyright issues?
Chris: And if you don’t tell, nobody will notice, as nobody reads Rilke.
(26:00)
Pi: That’s our secret about the next album revealed now.
Chris: Just don’t tell anyone.
Pi: What?
Chris: This. The secret is, that the next Lord of the Lost album will consist of Rilke poems, but only his French sheets, French scripts.
Pi: Ah yes.
Chris: We record the album this way, but only release it in a instrumental acappella version.
Pi: Cool!
Chris: On our upcoming Swan Songs album there IS an instrumental acappella version by the way. Think about it.
Pi: That one took us the longest.
Chris: One more minute.
Pi: I’m doing push ups.
Chris: Oh shit, why is that always so difficult. 40 seconds.
Pi: Thirty. Twenty. Ten.
(28:35)
Pi: *reads* – “Will you be live every day now?” No. – “still at it”. – very good! That’s a good thing. “I’m dying. I’m not trained at all, but skip along nevertheless… I’m dying.” – That’s cool. Not, that you’re dying, but that you’re skipping along. Cool thing. “I got better at rope skipping since Herford” – Cool!
Chris: Are you still there on Facebook?
(31:42)
Pi: Is it possible to tell yet when the first Swan Songs video will be published?
Chris: No. I don’t know. Mid May? I want to recite the first verse of Rilke’s “Der Panther” (the panther) to you: "Lonely panther in the zoo"…
“His gaze has from the passing of the bars
Become so tired that he can't hold anything anymore
It is as if there were a thousand bars
And behind a thousand bars there is no world”
Pi: Wow, cool.
Chris: Cool, isn’t it? And it goes on like this. And as you read this, you always think, “I never want to go to the zoo again!” Only because of this quatrain.
Pi: It sounds pretty meaningful. It IS meaningful.
Chris: I don’t like most poems, because they are so cheesy, I like romantic music but I don’t like romantic poetry. I find modern prose sick, because it is so contrived, but Rilke is somewhere in between and that’s really cool.
Pi: Cool. I need to read that.
(33:16)
Chris: Do you think the people on Instagram and Facebook can understand what we’re talking about here?
Pi: I have no idea.
Chris: We’ll check that later on. Damn, messed up.
Pi: I think they can understand us. Or they only hear the howling of the wind all the time. That could be the case, too. I think my rope will break soon.
Chris: I think so too.
Pi: I already fixed it once.
Chris: Let’s make a loop of this now, insert it – then we can go home.
Pi: Yeah cool.
Chris: For the whole night.
Both: 3 – 2 – 1 Loop!
Pi: They’re all still watching, even though we’re not working out any more.
Chris: Yes, that’s funny. Now the legs are starting to get heavy. And I start to sweat.
Pi: Yes. Round 3 is always not so nice. Can you hear us as we are talking? And why are there so many Russians here? That’s cool!
Chris: I think, people are not watching us, because that must be horribly boring. I think, I would be totally bored, if I had to watch myself rope skipping.
Pi: Unless you’re working out too.
(35:27)
Chris: Describe your last bowel movement using a movie title, song title, album title or band name….or series. …. “How I Met Your Mother”...
Pi: “Two and a Half Men”
Chris: “Knocking on Heaven’s Door”
Pi: Boah. "Godzilla"
Chris: "On This Rock I Will Build My Church"!
Pi: "Live, Pray, Die, Repeat"
Chris: "Schrei nach Liebe" (Cry out for Love)
Pi: "Die fette Elke" (The fat Elke)
Chris: "Der Untergang" (The Downfall)
Pi: "Die Flut" (The Flood) …. "La Bomba"...
Chris: "Herr der Ringe" (Lord of the Rings)
Pi: Continued by “The two Towers”?
Chris: "Return of the King".
Pi: "Dirty Dancing". …. "The Fast and the Furious".
Chris: Pt. 2 …. "Crank" (Movie with Jason Statham)
Pi: "The Exorcist". Even though we are at “Lord of the Rings”… “the Ring” …. "Scary Movie"… "Scream"…
Chris: 50 Shades of … Brown?
Pi: Twilight- Shit at Dawn (“Biss zum Morgengrauen” in German – Pi made it "Schiss zum Morgengrauen")…what’s going on here? Oh. Battery 20% left.
Chris: You can charge it with mine.
Pi: I’ll skip some more. Two more minutes to go.
Chris: "The Big Bang Theory".
Pi: "Dawn of the Dead".
Chris: "From Dusk Till Dawn"…"Tropic Thunder"…"Sauna Club"
Pi: I have seen this coming. (not sure if I got that right)
Chris: (inaudible)
Pi: "Ein Blatt Papier" (one sheet of paper)
Chris: I need to suggest that to Swiss later… the toilet paper version.
Pi: (inaudible)
Chris: Unfortunately I haven’t been home then. How long to go?
Pi: 45 seconds.
Chris: Oh, that went fast. Talking shit helps.
Pi: (inaudible)
(Some invisible lady) : You’re totally motivated. We preferred to do shopping today. He refuses.
Pi: Why don’t YOU join in then?
Chris: Who’s that?
Pi: No idea.
(lady): I already did this morning.
Pi: Ah ok.…(inaudible)
Chris: Cool!
(41:16)
Pi: Hello. What’s going on here?
Chris: I need to get into Pornhub chat shortly. Search for Swiss there. “Hey yo Swiss, I’m currently working out with Pi, and there we noticed, that in these Corona times you definitely need to take a video with/about toilet paper for “Nur ein Blatt Papier”. It gets a totally different and much deeper meaning because of it."
Pi: It’s also in a way critical of society.
Chris: Definitely. Best regards.
Pi: Ah yes, I wanted to charge my phone.
Chris: Yes. You can do that. With mine?
Pi: Yes.
Chris: Here you are.
Pi: Sorry for the hand in the picture.
Chris: Now there’s a cable in the picture.
Pi: There was a cable in the picture.
Chris: Now YOU have a cable in the picture. (then reads out loud, who’s watching). How many have you got?
Pi: One hundred something, no idea.
Chris: There you got it. If you do something useful… oh damn, I didn’t set the timer.
Pi: Simply reset and start immediately.
Chris: “by feel” we have half a minute left. Sorry, we turned off the timer.
Pi: Yeah, we messed up. We always do.
Chris: So, last quarter, 10 more minutes, you will manage that, right?
Pi: Yeah…cool!
Chris: Did the seagull just… (inaudible)
Pi: Sure, the seagull.
Chris: Those seagulls! You’re not visible in this camera. Oh, a message! Just a moment, it’s Swiss. (message from Swiss… hard to understand, but they apparently like the idea of making a video about one sheet of toilet paper. They should work out often together, if they get so nice ideas then)
(43:51)
Chris: Well, people!
Pi: Last round! 3 – 2.1
Chris: As with the Ramones … 1234!
Pi: Or Billy Talent, they count to 5.
Chris: Really, always? With every song? But that’s stupid.
Pi: They just can’t only count to 4. They always need to count to 5. It has to be some kind of fate.
Chris: They’re no good band. I saw them live once… they’re no good.
Pi: They don’t have talent.
Chris: Nope. But it’s blatant, that the guitarist plays something besides – a band, that I can always listen to.
Pi: A totally different way of rhythm and lead playing at the same time. Really cool.
Chris: For me it’s not music that I like to listen to for a long time in a row, but I find it fascinating. They’re fascinating technically.
Pi: Super cool.
Both: (inaudible)
Chris: I need to show the back side of my shirt. Oh. I quit.
Pi: Me too.
Chris: It’s strange, because it is uneven here.
Pi: Yeah, that’s difficult. Ah, I got caught. Have to do push ups again.
Chris: 1 – 1 – 1- 1 ! What’s up, private Snow White?! On you go! 1 – 1 – 3 – 2 – 1. You’re so ugly, you could even be a modern piece of art!
Pi: Ah yeah. We don’t know each other.
Chris: Who’s that? That guy wears the same shirt as me!
Pi: Great taste!
Chris: I thought the same thing recently.
Pi: Me too, this morning.
Chris: I recently met someone… She tasted great. Really nice.
Pi: Took a shower, right?
Chris: A totally specific taste.
Pi: It’s not supposed to taste, but get clean.
Chris: Do the live videos get saved? Live videos don’t get saved, right?
Pi: You have that option on Instagram. I would save it.
Chris: Really, is that possible? Damn. Oh look, there’s people in Lord of the Lost shirts!
Pi: Moin! (Hello in northern German). Weird. How so? … messed up… big boobs…doing those shoulder push ups.
Chris: I’m pretty fed up already.
Pi: We have five more minutes to go. But it’s cool to step up by ten minutes sort of “out of nowhere”.
Chris: Yeah. Once more. Four doubles in a row. With one in between.
(49:08)
Pi: I did it. Now I have two skipping ropes. If you can’t buy a new skipping rope – skip so much that one breaks… then you have two! Now I need to do something else for the last 4 minutes.
Chris: Which rope will you be using tomorrow then?
Pi: I’ll ask Class for his.
Chris: I know a poem. But not by Rilke. “Ein Regenwurm war schlechter Dinge, vor Einsamkeit hat er geweint, dann sprang er über eine Rasierklinge - dann hatte er einen Freund.“ - An earthworm was in a bad mood, he cried from loneliness, then he jumped over a razor blade - so he got a friend. Same situation as with your skipping rope.
Pi: Indeed, he had a friend.
Chris: Show them your rope. I think, some didn’t see it.
Pi: Ah yeah.
(51:13)
Chris: We didn’t have that yet.
Pi: Should we do a cover version of this?
Chris: Yep.
Pi: Cool.
Chris: When will you do the next Corona-song?
Pi: Either this evening or tomorrow in the morning.
Chris: Has Class recorded his part already? Class, are you watching? Did you record your part already? Record it! Nik is done. I have a cool idea for the next one. For the vocals. Spoiler: I need to go to the studio for it. There I have two phones. One sounds more broken, like these old phones, the other ones sounds a little less broken. So I will do the various Loreley-parts with different phones. At the same time. With both phone receivers.
Pi: That’s cool. I think I will do my guitar part in my bed or something.
Chris: That’s good.
Pi: Naked.
Chris: That’s good. Unfortunately I need to go to the studio for this, because I need two inputs, but I only have one at home. Only one Mic.
Pi: Who’s Mike? But cool.
Chris: What do you think about answering questions for the last minutes, in case someone has any, you on Insta, me on Facebook?
Pi: For the next ten minutes, right now?
Chris: Yep.
Pi: People, 30 seconds to go!
(talking English then for a while)
(Didn’t find the Video on Insta anymore, just on facebook and there you cannot hear Pi answer the questions)
Q: How are you doing in these Corona times?
Pi: We’re doing fine. It’s a stupid situation for everyone, especially for artists, musicians, promoters, organizers and so on, the whole music and playing live business is concerned, but I just refer to this very moment… we’re doing really fine here, sitting in the sun.
Q: Will you do this more often now?
Pi: Probably yes. Chris and me have decided to work out every day now, so we will be doing a live stream again within the next days.
Q: Could you possibly do an Eye to Eye with Tilo Wolff?
Pi: That’s difficult right now.
Chris: Tilo lives in Switzerland, so I think I won’t see him for a while; when I get to see him the next time – or as soon as I know, when I will meet him the next time, I will ask him if he feels like it. I think he will do it. Tilo is one of the nicest, most warm hearted and most fair people that I got to know so far in this business. I really need to say that. He’s got his heart in the right spot.
Pi: Amen.
Q: Is working on the new Swan Songs album put off because of Corona?
Pi: No.
Chris: Swan Songs Album has been finished on April 6th, it will be released in early August; things have to be finished a long time before the release date in the music industry. So, all videos are taken, all photos are taken, recordings were finished in February or March, everything’s mixed etc – and in early April we handed it in.
Translation: Margit Güttersberger
Proofreading: Meike Ernst