*Non-literal translation*

 

 

[1:50 - 4:25]

When Chris was younger, he came home late and had to pee, but his flatmate was in the shower for hours and had locked the door. So he peed into a bottle. He woke up the next morning thirsty as heck, saw the bottle, took a sip, and the swallow reflex was faster than his brain registering that it was pee, so he swallowed it. Then he immediately threw up pee.

 

[5:00 - 7:53]

Gared's story is he was in the bathtub with "one of his girlfriends". They decided to have oral sex, she choked, and a piece of puke ended up on Gared's stomach. They quickly washed it off and emptied the bathtub, laughed and agreed not to do it again.

 

[10:40 - 12:45]

This part's not really part of the embarrassing stories segment, but it would be a pity to leave it out: they mention that a few days ago the police was called to their hotel, cause the hotel receptionist had looked  at the surveillance cameras and thought she'd seen a prostitute walk from one hotel room to the other naked, as if she was being handed around. What she described as a slender girl with long hair turned out to be Class Grenayde, who was on his way to the shower and just grabbing a shampoo he'd forgotten in the other room.

 

[13:18]

Gared asks how Chris' bowel irritation is doing. Chris says with him, stage fright sometimes expresses itself as an irritated bowel, not as feelings.

 

[14:14]

After they joke around a bit, Gared says "Look, here's a little worm" and opens his pants. He tells Chris to touch it and empty it for him.

 

[14:25]

This reminds Chris of an interesting story: He heard on TV once that in a turkish thermal bath, you can buy something called "emptying", where a man masturbates you. And it's not considered masturbation or homosexuality. He asks his turkish fans if they know if this is true.

 

[16:03]

They talk about that the word "Döner" from "Döner Kebab" means "turn". Not sure what this has to do with the subject.

 

[16:35]

Gared asks "Am I stupid?" and Chris answers "No, you're one of the few people I've met that I don't consider stupid." Gared replies: "I'm just ignorant."

 

[17:01]

Chris asks Gared about his "perfect pitch" hearing, which allows him to tell what note someone is singing/playing. He asks if it's a gift or a curse. Gared says it's a gift, cause he only needs to hear a song and already he knows how to play it, and he just needs to practice it a bit more. It's also a curse though in that, when he was young and practicing with lots of other kids, he was able to hear every little mistake they made.

 

[22:20]

Chris says he's fascinated by Aleatoric music, where you generate the notes more or less at random. He says "How can you define if that's still real music?" If he plays "Full Metal Whore" to his grandmother, she would also say that's just noise and not music.

 

[25:28]

Gared jokes that the next Lord of the Lost album will be very avant-guard, without Chris and without him. Just Tobias Mertens and friends. Then he continues joking that he (Gared) will go on a solo tour called "Gared Dirge and friends", which means he will be standing on the stage alone.

 

[26:40]

Gared says a good ending for the video is the fact that his pants are still open and he needs to pee.

 

[27:11]

Chris tells a joke: What happens if you cross a Jehovah's witness with an atheist? Answer: Someone knocks on your door for no reason.

 

[27:30]

After Gared leaves the shot and pulls his pants down, he asks Chris if anything was visible. Chris replies: "No...did you know that the average person lies 25 times a day?" (Gared replies that he can top that)

 

[28:35]

Gared "confesses" that he likes beer. Tobias, who has been sleeping off-screen for the whole video, asks him to hand him a blanket. Gared and Chris keep comically ignoring his request.

 

 

 

Source: Youtube