Gared: It’s still not enough? (Talking about the light)
Chris (behind the camera): No, it works but you both have to (lean) on with your elbows please… Yes! Let’s start!
Gared: Mr. Blaschke.

Alex: Cheers! *toast with drinks*

Gared: Cheers! Principle is known? Mr. Harms *toast with bottles*

*INTRO*

 

(0:32)

Gared: What are you wearing under it?

Alex: Like always – nothing!

Gared: That’s what I wanted to hear. It’s your turn. No, seriously!

*a champagne bottle pops up in the background*

Gared: Cheers!

*everyone laughs*

Gared: Can we start now seriously? It’s unbelievable!

Chris: We are trying to do an interview…

Gared: A serious interview!

Chris: … an interview between 2 musicians.

Gared: Can we please get silence behind the camera?

Chris: I think it will fail! Yes, uhm, sorry!

 

(0:53)

Gared: Yeah Eisheilige (Eisheilige Nacht, Festival from the band Subway to Sally) - how is it going? Seriously, from that view, we had the same thing last year. Was nice, NO was awesome! We had a great impact. How is it for you? What do you anticipate?

Alex: I would just say it’s better than expected. There’s a lot of encouragement and the bands are great.

Gared: So there are 2 or 3 bands up?

Alex: Yes and that’s enough. I mean there are finally people there, you know us!

Gared: Yes, a public rehearsal, I know it, we’re doing it all the time.

Alex: Usually I sit there in front of 8 people which are all drunk and I’m waiting for the janitor to sweep up. But it’s all good now, bands are cool, but you guys are missing.

Gared: That was exactly what I wanted to hear.

Alex: *laughs* So everything is answered now!?

Gared: Yes, we can actually call it a day here. That was the eye to eye with Alex Blaschke.

Chris: Yes, thank you, nice. *turns the camera around*

 

(1:47)

Gared: Did you come up with a question now?

Alex: I’d love to know, where do you go shopping?

Gared: Uhm, second hand clothes market, it goes by price per kg. No, seriously, I like cloth markets, and the classics like H&M, New Yorker and Zara because you have to admit they have things that aren't that crappy which you can buy…

Chris: *whispering* In the women’s section.

Gared: …in the women’s section, thanks for this interjection from the prompter. They have stuff which is actually Rock n’ Roll like, that I don’t look like a Hipster or Popper and what is useful for our scene, in which we live, somehow, because we are overlapping.

Alex: You become more and more sympathetic to me my friend!

Gared: You too or what?

Alex: Yes, it’s similar. You can’t lie, now and then you have to take care of the money.

Gared: But your mom doesn’t buy your cloths anymore, does she?

Alex: Meanwhile again, because I’m not at home that often.

Gared: Ah, yeah.

Alex: That’s why she’s going to search for the best things.

Gared, Wow, that’s nice! Then you can be a well-dressed boy.

Alex: Right!

 

(3:03)

Gared: You as a “bass player”, as a fourstringer, who lacks the money for 2 more strings, are you playing all strings? I mean really all? I know a lot bass players who are like “A-A-A-A” and “E-E-E”, just open string (Means the strings and the notes which are played on an instrument like the bass)? Do you play all the strings and also the fretboard? Or do you only move your hand a bit?

Alex: Well, do I have to say the truth or do I just have to sound cool?

Gared: Speak honestly to me because I’m like… On the piano you have more than 200 Strings and on each key some more strings at once, so I play 4 of them, mostly, or 5, what one hand can do. The other one does nothing.

Alex: You know us and you know some music of us and you know there’s a lot of Jazz style.

Gared: Oh yes, it’s very coloured, partly. Colourful, sorry! (He said ‘farbig’ instead of ‘farblich’ by mistake.)

Alex: That’s why I often look so serious on stage.

Gared: So you are very concentrated, when you look at your “Kreuz 13” or... (“cross 13”; probably refers to Opus 13 by the composer Emil Kreuz.)

Alex: Yes absolutely, when you play 8/16 beat and so on, it’s not that easy.

Gared: Did you ever notice, Blues has a pattern? When we are talking about Jazz because I’m coming from Jazz.

Alex: Oh, is it like that?

Gared: Yes, Blues has a pattern, it exists for like 10 years. Somehow they thought that after the last 70 or 80 years of Jazz, you have to bring some discipline and order into it, no anarchy. And then they created a Blues pattern in the 90’s. That’s nuts! It’s always like tonica-subdominant-tonica and so on, all that shit, right? *looks into the camera* You don’t understand it, it’s between musicians, or better a bass player and a pianist.

Alex: Bass player and musician... among themselves.

Gared: That’s right! But you are screaming sometimes and somehow, in the broadest sense, you’re making music with it too.

Alex: Right.

Gared: Is it your turn or mine? I don’t know.

Alex: I think it’s me again.

 

(4:58)

Gared: Yeah, then...

Chris: Ok, that’s hard. Maybe ask what you never wanted to know about me.

Alex: I should ask what I never wanted to know about you?

Gared: Yes.

Alex: How your first time was, for example. Because I really don’t want to know it but I would like to ask you now.

Gared: My first time WHAT? You need to specify it.

Alex: Your first time with a man.

Gared: Oh, that wasn’t a long time ago, it was yesterday, so I remember like it was yesterday.

*Chris is laughing behind the camera*

Alex: It’s so fresh.

Gared: That’s why I’m here!

Alex: Now you can finally talk about it.

Gared: Ok, look, I’ve been fighting with myself for 23 hours and now I can finally talk about it in the 24^th hour. In fact it was Chriselord, which you can’t see behind the camera, with whom I had to sleep to come along here today!

*Chris is showing his middle finger to Gared*

Alex: Oh, so you have slept the way to the ticket?

Gared: Yes, I slept the way to the trip ticket and I had to drive too but he was merciful, I was allowed to be passive. So I was allowed to… (He starts to say he was allowed to get f*ucked by Chris from behind but stopped) So, uhm, I received it.

Chris: Oh maaaaan…

Alex: So you are the little sub?

Chris: The submissive touch (German word playing: “Die devote Note”, “devot” means “submissive” and Note is touch in this case but also means the notes for music and that’s what Chris also means) .

So we have the musical theory again.

Gared: Or in poetry. And yes, it was like that and how it was… Short!

 

(6:07)
Chris: *moves the camera*

So with that, I have the feeling that this eye to eye isn’t taken so seriously by the protagonists.

Gared: It is and I was about to push it in a serious direction. What does pushing mean, I spontaneously thought of this question: Back to you as a “bass player”.

*everyone laughs*

Gared: Do you also play other or better do you play instruments at all?

*loud laughing*

Alex: I tried to. Originally I got from my mother…

Gared: With what did you start?

Alex: I’ve started with the organ.

Gared: You played the organ? (Gared and Alex are playing around with the german word “georgelt” and “orgeln” coming from the German word for the instrument organ - “Orgel”, “Du hast georgelt” means you masturbated)

Alex: And how I played the organ (continues the joke by saying it in a tone that's usually not used for playing the actual instrument, so it rather sounds like “and how I masturbated”), buddy, you can know that.

Gared: How was the first time with organ (orgeln)? (Still the word playing, translation not possible)

Alex: The first time with an organ (orgeln) was really bad, because I've never hit!

Gared: I see, okay.

Chris: Now it’s getting interesting.

Gared: So Technics home organ or what was it? (Technics is an instrument manufacturer)

Alex: Yes it was a home organ and my mother was playing organ in the church (word playing again, he said his mother did “orgeln” in the church)

Gared: I have the feeling that the cameraman doesn’t take this eye to eye seriously!

*Chris turns the camera around to his face*

Chris: That’s possible.

*turns the camera back to Alex and Gared*

Gared: So you have in the church… You have in the church...?

Alex: No I haven’t!

Gared: Your grandma!

Alex: No, my mother!

Gared: Ah, your mother, what is it, now? It’s all the same.

Alex: I played a little bit on it and she showed it to me and that was quite nice but when it came up to make music in a band and rock…

Gared: It’s also possible with an organ when you look at huge musicians like Jon Lord and how they all are named.

Alex: That’s true but guitar player and drummer were pretty cool but you have a lot of them and that’s why I had to play the bass but I also play guitar.

Gared: But you wanted to do it on your own with the bass playing and were taught and all that classic shit?

Alex: I wanted to become a rock star and the only way I could do it was with the bass because all the others were already taken. (He said it was “belegt”, which means it was taken because someone else already took it but it also means busy when you want to call someone and the person doesn’t answer. Gared is playing with this word now)

Gared: Like my bun. I try to reach my bun for days, but it’s always busy. Just saying. (“belegt” for a bun also means that there is something on it.)

Chris: I tried to call Spiderman but he doesn’t have a net(work).

*everyone laughs*

Gared: So organ, keys and all elementary…

*Chris turns the camera around and you can see Der Schulz, he’s laughing, Chris goes back to Alex and Gared*

Gared: AND BASS he’s also playing.

Alex: Yeah.

 

(8:08)

Gared: Can I slip another one in there? A question?

Alex: Sure!

Gared: Because it wants to come out now… You are also at home on the keys, what keeps you away from, you have a lot of synthy things in your music, what keeps you away from a keyboardist, like me or another genius…

*Alex laughs*

Chris: Jon Lord!

Gared: Jon Lord! Or John Petrucci. Now seriously – What keeps you away from taking a keyboardist with a synthesizer on stage? Which would have quite something visually and acoustically.

Alex: That’s right. But I think we are already overwhelmed with the 4 of us.

Gared: Each for himself or each with another?

Alex: Everything! And we have a thing with symmetry.

Gared: You could put him in the middle.

Alex: Or behind.

?????: That’s difficult.

Gared: That’s also right.

 

(9:06)

*There’s a cut and they toast and drink*

Gared: First drink and then it's your turn.

*Alex drinks and speaks at the same time*

Gared: Drink first and speak then.

Alex: Really?

Gared: And maybe swallow beforehand.

Alex: I’m always overwhelmed with everything.

Gared: You can’t swallow either. But we have also learned that. We had to find out… What may I […] for you?

Alex: I’m allowed to ask you another question.

Gared: Really random. Or specialized.

Alex: Specialized?

Gared: However you want to.

Alex: 100 people have probably already asked you this…

Gared: Like in Family Feud…

*Alex laughs*

Alex: …how you actually got into it, because piano is kind of your main instrument, I would guess now.

Gared: Parallel with drums, but yes. I’m less active there right now than at the keys.

Alex: How does it happen you feel comfortable and at home with it?

Gared: So I was 4 years old when I thought “Mom, Dad, buy me a piano!”. No, uhm, this question indeed comes up often. Piano is the instrument where I got my little fingers on first when I was 4 years old because we had it at home all the time. And I was simply fascinated by its sound because you have 10 fingers and you can, as soon as the final hand size is reached, do really extensive and demanding things with it. From my point of view back then, more than on a guitar for example. What is also pretty cool and autodidactic I also learned it. But it simply fascinated me with the sound. And it was the path of least resistance because it was there. It was there and it was the first love, love at first sight, and so on. Drums came later because my brother became a renegade to the piano. No, he didn’t, he continued, but he wanted to be a drummer. Then suddenly there was also a drum set standing there. And what are you doing as a younger brother? You think “I do what he’s doing”, sounds good, makes noise and is a perfect addition to the piano and it has built up in parallel. Then it was like that during the music school, that I was able to enjoy my training on both. But I also did a lot of things myself in my head autodidactically. So everything in parallel.

Alex: What’s funny to me is, when you said you can do much more on piano than on guitar. I was talking to Luzi yesterday, Luzi of Saltatio Mortis, and he’s playing bagpipes in the band, he said he started with guitar but it was too difficult for him. Too much because you can play a note on guitar in all possible variations. So, this one in this kind of way…

Gared: Yes, in different pitches.

Alex: And you can’t do this on bagpipes!

Gared: That would be fatal.

Alex: He said when he has to play a D sharp, then he just has one way to play it.

Gared: And only in a very limited octave range, probably?

Alex: Absolutely. But that’s what he loved.

Gared: You may have people who think lazy, or let me say it with political correctness – the path of least resistance, like I do it somehow. But…

Alex: No, lazy isn’t what I…

Gared: No but you know what I mean?

Alex: Yes, there’s the technique that is interesting.

Gared: Yeah, I find it admirable, for example, how you play this while you don’t actually have to do anything and just grab it and squeeze the air out of the bag while you’re doing it. But in between now and then…

*Everyone laughs, Chris turns the camera around and you can see Der Schulz laughing too, because to squeeze the air out of the bag was also a word playing for emptying the testicles*

Alex: Fuck, we are too dull for this!

Gared: Let’s drink to it!

*Chris turns the camera around again to himself and Der Schulz*

Chris: So, we’ve tried to take this eye to eye with Unzucht up to a new level. Now we are lowering it to a new level.

Gared: Ey, watch out! This is my very first eye to eye and somehow, he deflowers me right now!

Chris: And you already failed!

Gared: No! I try to do it in another…

Chris: No! Failed is meant quite in a positive way!

Gared: Oh, thank you Chris! Well, uhm… There’s something I wanted to say about this…

Chris: Bagpipes. (Surely word playing with the german word ‘Dudelsack’ because you can say scrotum that doodles)

Alex: Squeeze the air out of a bag.

Gared: But in between blow again…

*Everyone laughs, OUTRO*

 

(13:24)

Der Schulz: Back to the bagpipes – Today I have heard from Gunther, which has the stage name, help me please!

Gared: Falk!

Der Schulz: Who has the stage name Falk.

Chris: Falk the horrible!

Der Schulz: No- I don’t know about this but really nice guy. And he has…

Gared: Does he have the Falk in his back? (word playing with the name Falk and the german word ‘Schalk’ for the sentence “Does he have the mischievousness in his neck?”)

Der Schulz: Haha, for sure he has. As a Gallego I was always interested in playing bagpipes (“Sackpfeife” and “Dudelsack” both mean the same instrument) or Gaita and he said no it’s not difficult, because you have 10 fingers and only 9 holes, how difficult can it be?

*everyone laughs*

Gared: This is the most beautiful closing word. At this point, goodbye! Thank you for the painless, funny and a little stupid deflowering.

Alex: It was my pleasure!

Gared: It was an inner…

Chris: Can we have a goodbye kiss please?

Alex: We can do it.

Gared: But you are sick.

Alex: I’m not sick. The only one who is sick is, here... *points on Der Schulz*

Chris: You are both sick! Do it.

Gared: Awesome. (in this tone, the word “geil” can have slightly sexual connotations.)

*Kiss between Alex and Gared*

Der Schulz: I’m just sick in the head!

Gared: Bye!

Chris: Oh my god…

*laughing*

 

 

 

Translation: Jeany Fischer

Proofreading: Jari Witt, Inessa On De Rox