Dr. Mark Benecke: We are backstage – you are allowed to go in there, as you are a Crew member?

Crew member: I may go in, yeah..! 

Chris: Hey – now you can have a camera-meeting!  

Everyone: Hello!

 

Dr. Mark Benecke: (towards the guy with the camera) So you’re the camera operator here. 

(towards Pi): You put Make-up on his back, as I can see.

Pi: Nope. 

Chris: Is it ok if I borrow your wife? 

 

Dr. Mark Benecke: Yes of course, with pleasure. These are not your real lashes? We always thought, you have such beautiful lashes naturally. 

Chris: Actually it is my merkin, that I wanted to have up there for a change.

 

Dr. Mark Benecke: You cannot read his lips now, but he said it is his merkin, he has pubic hair in his eyes.

(towards Nik): Do you enjoy performing with someone who has pubic hair in his face? 

Nik: I don’t enjoy performing in general. 

 

Dr. Mark Benecke: That’s understandable. 

Chris: I just recently chatted with some Japanese, and they all love hair, so when I sent them dick pics, they complained that I’m shaved…

 

Dr. Mark Benecke: Talking about the hair on your crotch or..?

Chris: Exactly. 

 

Dr.  Mark Benecke: Yes. And you had shaved that? 

Chris: Yes. No. Not at all. Not with the Japanese. 

(Someone in the background): The girls with the crotch. 

 

Dr. Mark Benecke: That’s what it’s about here backstage!

(towards Pi): Have you got hair on your crotch too? 

Pi: Yes, I still have. But I’ll be waxing those in a minute. 

Chris: Hair on your crotch is better than hair on your teeth, right?  (german expression for “sharp tongue”) 

 

Dr. Mark Benecke (towards the camera operator): You’re taking a “behind-the-scenes”-video? 

Camera operator: Yes, for the tour blog. 

 

Dr. Mark Benecke: Which tour blog? TV of the Lost? I‘ve appeared there once already!

(towards Gared): A minute ago you’ve been dressed, now you’re undressed. What has happened in the meantime? 

Crew Member: As soon as he sees a camera…

Someone in the background: Now take off your shorts! 

Gared: Ah yes, sorry. 

Someone in the background: Show me your jungle camp! 

Gared: You wouldn’t want that. 

Someone in the background: He has a jungle camp tattoo!

Gared: Not a tattoo… I have a jungle camp in my pants. 

 

Dr. Mark Benecke: We are “behind the scenes” with Lord of the Lost, and here you can see how the gloves for experiments are put on, namely the experiment “Recognize the song”. Do you recognize the song?

Chris: I know it. The question is, if YOU recognize the song (points at writing on the blackboard) 

 

Dr. Mark Benecke: (reads our loud): Mejkap, blrblrblr, Weikap, Falaslkbu, Sejkap, Blökömö…?

Camera operator: I know it!

 

Dr. Mark Benecke: Someone here knows it!

Chris: (mimicking what’s written on the blackboard) …and the guy here, that’s Serj Tankian (singer of System Of a Down)!

 

Dr. Mark Benecke: Ok! Here you have learned something new now. This man is a lecturer. And now he just taught you something. Thank you. 

Nik: But he’s also a producer (pun: in German lecturer is “Dozent” and producer is “Produzent” – Nik pronounced it as “Pro-Dozent”

Chris: Aaaah jeu de mots (means “inside joke” in French) – and he fluently speaks “foreign” in other languages! (in French accent) 

 

Dr. Mark Benecke: Here fake lashes are being put on. 

Mrs. Benecke: Once again.

 

Dr. Mark Benecke: What is the secret, what do you have to know if you want to put on fake lashes? 

Mrs. Benecke: That they make you go crazy. And that it takes the glue forever to dry… if you don’t do it yourself.

Chris: So, dear people out there, this is Dr. Mark Benecke, who is commonly known for being ahead of the times, a smart person who thinks far ahead, a visionary, who is able to think outside the possible, he also is able to predict trends, for example, he had a fidget spinner tattooed to his neck..!

 

Dr. Mark Benecke: When you didn’t even know yet what a fidget is! And you still don’t know. You have no clue why it is called fidget spinner. Us neither. The two of us don’t know it either. 

Chris: I know it, I always google such things. 

 

Dr. Mark Benecke: Does your son have such a fidget spinner?

Chris: Yes of course. 

 

Dr. Mark Benecke: What does he do with it?

Chris: Spin it. 

 

Dr. Mark Benecke: Spin it. Well people, if you want to be as cool as Chris Harms of LOTL… 

Chris: …You get a fidget spinner tattooed. 

 

Dr. Mark Benecke: Does LOTL actually mean “Laughing out too loud”? Is that the original meaning?

Chris: (nods)

 

Dr. Mark Benecke: Now you know that too! For real the band’s name is “Laughing out too loud”. Bye! 

 

 

 

Translation: Margit Güttersberger